The Unfair Judge

judge, creative, artist, blocked, truth, standard, fail

judge, creative, artist, blocked, truth, standard, failThe Unfair Judge

You take a beating.
The last bruises still show.
You didn’t meet the standard.
You didn’t hit the mark.
It’s a moving target and the judge is unfair.
You should have.
You could have.
You didn’t.
Now it’s in the past.
Forever etched in your history.
Everyone knows.
You’re an embarrassment.
A failure, a liability.
Try harder.
You deserve the correction.
It hurts. 
You break a little.
It’s for your own good.
You can do better.
You did your best.
Try again.
Raise the bar!
Set the standard higher!
No! Higher still!
It’s a moving target and the judge is unfair.
You’re losing ground. 
Is it worth trying again?
You’ll never make it.
You’ll never measure up.
You set the standard higher.
Your judgement is unfair.
You beat yourself up again.
The bruises still show.

It’s true.  You’re unfair to yourself.  Your expectations surpass anyone else’s when it comes to your performance. You’re often ashamed of your imperfections.

Creativity and art are direct reflections of who you are at your core.  Expressing yourself in art makes you extremely vulnerable.  It’s like looking at yourself in a two way mirror.  Other people see you as you see you.

So many creatives stay blocked for a lifetime because they judge themselves, deem themselves unworthy of any success and repress their true essence as to not allow anyone else the opportunity to judge. It’s safer in the shadows.

And yet, they do.  People judge.  It’s what we do best.

The problem is when you hide yourself and play pretend, people can and will judge you only on what they can see.  A fake.

You are misread and misunderstood and it causes you extreme bouts of frustration and heaviness.  Then you judge yourself even harder for not being real.  You know better, but it’s scary to be real.

Examine the areas in your life where you judge yourself the harshest.  Where does the truth of who you are end and the facade begin?  What are you trying to prove?

What if the things we shame ourselves for has less to do with righteousness and more to do with appearances? I wonder how many of the “rules” we have are things we do to keep up the facade of a higher standard.  When a higher living comes when you open yourself up instead of locking yourself up.

We get life backwards sometimes.  It’s not about keeping out the bad and the dark.  It’s about letting in the light and the good.  When you live in the light, you have more light to share.

Living life on the defensive sets you up for negative thought processes. It shows up in your countenance and your conversations. Instead of backing into a corner and defending your territory, move forward and gain some ground. Take that next right step.

That first step is to stop beating yourself up for being who you are, feeling what you do, and doing what you love.

Open up. Be real.

At least with a few close friends.

You have some true beauty and light in you.  You can make a positive impact.  That’s nothing to be ashamed of.

The truth is that we’re all vulnerable.  We’re all imperfect.  We’re all talented and messy and creative.  And we’re all our own worst critic.

Stop beating yourself up.  The bruises show.

Do you feel like you have to prove yourself to be accepted?  How can you be real with someone this week?  Comment here. 

If you need some extra inspiration in your life, join my email list. It gets real in there.  I’d love to have you there.

Share this:

You may also like

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *